Tawaki

(A parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's "The Stone Troll") Troll sat alone on his chair of stone And searched the Web for sites unknown. It was his game to spam and flame Where flame wars could be come by! From by! Scum by! He'd many a user cheeséd off With flame wars he had come by! On fora he tended towards the end Of learning how best to shock and offend. Their fandoms he'd diss, their hobbies dismiss, And their beliefs disparage! Carriage! Larrage! It really enraged and angered them To have their beliefs disparaged! And when he'd alight on political sites, Be they of the left or of the right, The method he chose was that he would pose As fringe of the opposition! Dishin'! Sishin! Got explosions that put Michael Bay to shame By posing as the opposition! The troll was a jerk who made folks hurk. Reasoning with him didn't work. Alone in the end, without a friend, He didn't know what he missed out on! Lout on! Knout on! He was determined not to know Just what he was missing out on!

To the tune of “The Twelve Pains of Christmas” by Bob Rivers, and further derived from the traditional “Twelve Days of Christmas” song. In discussions controversial, one major pain for me is: So many reflex claims of “Nazi!” In discussions controversial, two major pains for me are: Extremists of my side, And so many reflex claims of “Nazi!” In discussions controversial, three major pains for me are: Rigged research, Extremists of my side, And so many reflex claims of “Nazi!” In discussions controversial, four major pains for me are: Appeal to circumstance, Rigged research, Extremists of my side, And so many reflex claims of “Nazi!” In discussions controversial, five major pains for me are: Poisoning the well, Appeal to circumstance, Rigged research, Extremists of my side, And so many reflex claims of “Nazi!” In discussions controversial, six major pains for me are: Loads of loaded language, Poisoning the well, Appeal to circumstance, Rigged research, Extremists of my